Monday, May 02, 2011

Berkman for Jackson

Colon for Pavano

Santos for Sales

Fuld for Hunter

I found myself at the Draft House last night making my dad’s fantasy baseball trades.  It was more important to him to go Morel mushroom hunting than to tend to his trades.  I had dad buy everyone’s beer.

 

Most of dad’s fellow team owners are under 35 years of age.  I could be these kids’ mother. I, however, am very cool and have been told I don’t look my age.  So I treat these guys like any other single guys I would meet.  As opportunities. (Yes, I am a cougar. Ok, I WANT to be a cougar.) 

The league’s Commissioner of Baseball is a very cute painter by trade.  He had a glop of white paint on his elbow.  I waited as long as I could before I had to ask him if I could get the paint off his elbow.  I used “Kleenex and spit.”  *sigh*  Now he sees me as the mother type….and I’m sure it’s not a MILF. 

The women in Omaha NEED expansive wardrobes I have decided.  For the two months I have been here I have worn winter, spring, fall and summer clothes all in the same week.  I am tired of my entire wardrobe already.  I must go shopping.  Oh dear! I just thought of something.  Maybe the unpredictable weather and weary wardrobe is why sweatshirts and pajama pants is the uniform of Omaha – it’s easier than trying to figure out what to wear!!  Dear Lord, I refuse to wear a hoody out to dinner.  I need retail therapy immediately.

Mom didn’t know Omaha has a roller derby team.  “They do”, I told her, “cuz I looked them up with the fantasy of taking lessons or joining them.”  Mom said she watched the roller derby on TV when she babysat.  She loves it.  We’re going to see the Omaha Roller Girls on Friday, May 13^th!!  Anyone care to join us?