Thursday, September 29, 2011

We still have fleas.  I’m not sure who is scratching more, us or the dogs.  We have performed a couple of tests to see if the house is infested and so far we have no evidence.  We put the white napkin on the carpet and waited for the fleas to jump on.  No jumping.  We tried the pie tin of water with the votive candle in the middle.  No heat seeking swimmers.  And while I was told to use Lemon Joy, I tried Dawn dish washing liquid with a bit of lime juice in a saucer…still no fleas.  So, other than washing dad’s bedding everyday because he insists he is infested, we have found no evidence of the insects whooping it up in the house.  Unless, of course, you examine the dogs.

These poor things are covered.  Flea dipped and medicated, still covered.  Yesterday mom and I gave them our version of a flea bath and, what was it mom said? Oh yeah, “the fleas are jumping off Daisy like rats fleeing a sinking ship.”  No, mom was not on the Titanic.  Along those lines however, I think a good freeze is the only thing that is going to help us around here.

Mom, dad and I happened to be in one room, watching a TV show all at the same time.  Dancing with the Stars.  Chaz and Lacy stepped on stage and began dancing away.

Asked dad, “Who’s the Chaz fella?”

Uh oh.

“That’s Sonny and Cher’s son, dad,” I said

“I thought they had a girl?” he quizzed.

“Yes, dad, that’s her but now she’s a he,” I informed him.

“What?”

“Yes dad, Chastity Bono was born a girl yet her whole life she felt as if she was supposed to be a boy so she had a sex change operation.”

“Explain that to me!” my father squawked.

“Dad, look it up on Google.” He stared at me.

“I’m not sure what all happens but I do know she takes males hormones to develop facial hair and they also make her breasts go away.  A surgical procedure creates and attaches a penis to her.”

He asks, “Testicles, too?”

“No dad.”

At this point I was stymied by the whole conversation.  My Father can’t grasp homosexuality and here I was trying to explain transgender to him.  His remaining questions incurred one reply, “Google it, Dad.”  Mom is still shaking her head....