Sunday, June 26, 2011

I bathe with bugs. About everyday there is a spider or a moth or other insect in my shower.  I also sleep with them and basically share my room with them.  At least one morning a week I sleepily walk out of my room to the bathroom and my face is snared - mid-yawn - by spider webs.

The basement shower, my shower, is one of those smallish plastic inserts about the size of a phone booth (am I dating myself?).  The shower head doesn’t move and shaving my legs is a yogic exercise I’m pretty sure.  I have to hoist up a leg and press my foot against the front shower wall and, because I have never been limber in my life, that move hunches me over and my back presses the back wall.  This actually is a fairly stable pose…until a bug crawls in the shower with me.  Yesterday a speedy little guy joined me and I was so afraid of his beeline to my exposed nether parts that I lost my balance and pulled my groin muscle.  I’m considering Nair for future.

I used to think that folks who made a living out of getting unemployment checks were stupid and lazy.  I have a whole new appreciation for them these days.  To receive unemployment benefits one has to make a claim every week.  This claim consists of informing the state if you worked or not, where and how much you earned and from there they determine if you get all or a portion of your weekly benefit.  I have been attempting to collect unemployment for the last month and have somehow managed to get the benefits suspended twice!!!  One of the questions asks if in the last week you refused any work?  Since I was working a small contract job and was offered another in Minnesota, I refused the Minnesota job.  This evidently is NOT what they mean by refusing a job.  Suspension #1.  Another question they ask is did you work the previous week?  Well, yes, I did, but I haven’t gotten paid yet …and that’s what they really want to know is if I have made any money and as of yet, I have earned no money.  So no, I did not work last week.  Suspension #2.  I spent a good portion of a day on the phone with Nebraska unemployment and Georgia Unemployment not to mention the Interstate unemployment offices and they treated me like I am a moron.  And rightly so I guess. 

Most all of my ties to Georgia are gone.  I have opened local bank accounts, purchased Nebraska license plates (SFN 189…which will be remembered “So Fine 1-8-9!”), and posed for my new Nebraska driver’s license (great photo btw!!).  All I have left is my 404 area code…and it causes problems since the area code here is 402….even though I emphasize the FOUR, these Nebraska folks still hear TWO.  Oh well, this regular clarification will help to keep Georgia on my mind….